Patience

As I was reading the Daily( a lil kinda devotion from crossroads, that comes daily in my email) tonight, which is acutally for Fridays, its late thur night/early fri morning.

But back to what it was talking about. It talked about patience.

--I think I can be a patient person on somethings. Like I work with kids all day, so I have a good level of patients, like not going totally crazy when no one is listening.

But when it comes to my relationships, or lack there of, as in dating. I am not very patient. I get frustrated alot with God about this. Like why can't I have what tons of other people have. And before you start to feel pity on me, because thats not what I am looking for, I learned something from reading it.

It says in Romans 12:9--Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

For a long time I went after relationships for just the matter of having someone, to have that feeling of being wanted. I wasn't being sincere in love, and most of the time the evil things were wanted I went after, so i forsure wasn't clinging on to what was good.

And I know thats not who I am.

I learned that those ways aren't the way I want to live my life. I want to really practice patience with what God wants for my relationships.

It said at the end-- Ask God to help you experience joy through your patience.

I want joy in all parts of my life, I know there will be ups and downs, but I want that joyful spirit in my life, even when something isn't going "my way".

This last 6 weeks on the Free journey has changed my life. I really can say that. And its lil changes that maybe I can only see, and maybe not all the time do I feel totally changed. And I still have to fight hard to keep my freedom of what I have gotten back, and there's still lots I have to fight for. But I am here fighting.

So this blog I want to be a place I can freely share some of my thoughts, struggles, and joyful experiences. With freedom.